This interview of Evan Longoria is a few days old, but we have a good excuse. We are big fans of "Big League Stew" over at Yahoo! Sports, but we don't remember 'Duk conducting any interviews before [Ed. note: Interview was not conducted by 'Duk. Rather it was David Brown, and the "Answer Man" series is a regular feature]. Couple that with some of the strange questions and answers and honestly, we thought this interview was satire. Apparently we were wrong.

On Eva Longoria:

I'm done talking about that. I did it all through the minor leagues. That's all I had to hear was her name associated with mine. I think we're kind of past that.

On who would play him in a movie:

Mark Wahlberg.

On which member of the Rays should not get a mohawk:

Well, he still doesn't have one. Carlos [Pena]. And I told him not to. He asked me multiple times if he should get one. I just don't think he'll look good with it. He's the clean-cut Latin guy on our team. I guess it's debatable if he's Latin or not. He is Dominican. I told him not to.

On the difference between being from Tampa and from St. Pete:

It's almost like — from my perspective — the difference between being from Long Beach and being from L.A. I don't want to say there's a — I don't want to say "stuck up" — but the St. Pete natives come to the game dressed as baseball fans. Tampa people come dressed to go out. There's girls in heels dressed up and ready to go out. Usually, the St. Pete people that are fans, are FANS. They're there to watch the game and support us.

Apparently Dirtbag needed a "Crash Davis" in the minors to mentor him on learning cliches.

One of the nice things about rooting for a small-market team, is that an interview like this will not become a national story. If Longoria played in New York, he probably would have been crucified for some of his answers. But he plays in St. Pete and our reaction is, Meh.

Answer Man: Evan Longoria talks Tampa Bay, Dick Vitale and Eva [Big League Stew]